Cortina Whiplash – your one-stop-sausage-fest-friendly band!

There is nothing more entertaining than a “sausage fest” for those of you who can’t guess what a sausage fest is, here is the Urban Dictionary definition: “Any gathering that is made up of an unusually large percentage of guys.”

The irony is that the eventual goal of most sausage fests is to dilute said sausage fest with ladies, but somehow these testosterone-fueled groups seem to shun women rather than attract them. Last night a bakkie load of gelled-hair, toight-jeaned male youths pulled up next to me…. winking and inappropriate comments ensued, I left. The point? Unknown. Perhaps they were simply trying to gain acceptance from their sausaged peers. I guess it’s kind of unfair, I mean when a group of girls get together it’s a normal everyday occurrence, that’s what we do, we get together, we talk and we don’t ever have to justify the fact that there aren’t any men around.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know, the beauty of a blog is that there never has to be any real point. I don’t need an introduction, body or conclusion I can just ramble on and on about anything that enters my psyche and seeing as things are relatively quiet on the Cortina front that just happened to be sausage fests.

That said, Cortina Whiplash hereby extend their warmest welcome to all sausage fests, come rock out with your c**** out at one of our shows and embrace your boy-friends in a non-judgmental environment filled with love, music and good times. Cortina Whiplash – your one-stop-sausage-fest-friendly band!

What happens to photographers at the end of Cortina Whiplash shoots

Pic by Auriel

Did you know sunflowers are not only pretty to look at but they also provide us with sunflower oil and yummy sunflower seeds!

knew that did you…. well then …... don’t I feel awkward.

Spread the love, spread the word, spread the music, join our mailing list and street team in six easy steps:

Step 1. Click on this link http://www.reverbnation.com/cortinawhiplash?add_email=true
Step 2. Fill in your email address

Step 3: Make us proud by posting our banner and music on your social networking
profile/website/blog
Step 4: Share our music with your animals, friends and neighbors.
Step 5: Bake for 5 minutes.
Step 6: ENJOY!

Our Success partially rests in Your hands, Cortina Whiplash - the Obama of bands
say "MAYBE WE CAN!"

New track on Myspace and Facebook

So we’ve hit a slight snag with the intellectual property rights and SAMRO and our album printing can’t be finalized until all that has all been cleared, something about the “law” and stuff. I’m just going to stop saying that our album is almost ready now. I think I’ve been saying that for a couple of months already.

I hereby solemnly vow that until I am making snow-angels in a pile of our CD’s I will not update this page to say that our album is “almost done”.

To tide you all over we’ve posted a new track on Myspace and Facebook. This is the album’s namesake and our slight foray into reggae; ladies and gentlemen I give you “Queen Hyena”.

Enjoy!

Pic by Hanro Havenga

BRINGING BACK THE MOONBAG… BRINGING BACK THE GRUNGE!

The moon bag, to most a symbol of bad taste but to a small few a nostalgic throwback to the days of grunge music, you see to me the moon bag represents a time when practicality took priority over image, when people wrote their own lyrics, when an entire generation got so sick of the cocaine-induced, electro-pop of the 80’s that they completely stripped it down and started a musical revolution.

I'm talking about the grunge era people, and let it be known...

Cortina Whiplash are bringing back the grunge!

I was watching Mtv the other day and something very sinister struck me, every smooth, young face staring back at me was to-good-to-be-true attractive. It would seem that having a “marketable” image has taken priority over how good a musician you are. I mean, do we really need to see Alicia Keys fake-riding BMW motorbikes in her videos, is that what it’s come to, how many times you can flash your logo in 3:30 mins? The way I see it, it’s like putting lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig, and the “decoration” only serves to detract from the fact that the product is bad.

So that’s why Cortina Whiplash have decided to strip it down just like our grunge forefathers did. Our fashion sense is bad and our music isn't motivated by the $$$$. It’s time that the over-produced, one-hit-wonders of the world step aside, stop the theatrics and make room for the next wave of the revolution.

Peace in the Middle East

Tessa Lily

THE RANDOM MUSINGS OF A LEBANESE HALFBREED

Edition 1.4

Tempted as I am to discuss the images of young Neo-Nazis and imperialist-hating cretins (what a good word, thanks Winnie) being relentlessly flashed before me, I shall resist. But before I move on I just want to say one thing: “'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”


“Oh the hills are alive, with the sound of music…”


We’ve just returned from playing the Splashy Fen music festival in the Underberg of Kwazulu-Natal, it was our first time attending, we’ve survived many Oppikoppi’s, a KKnK, some Aardklop, Woodstock but never been to Splashy Fen for some reason, and I just have to say that it was not only beautiful, but well organized - an all round winner. The arrogant me would say that it wouldn’t have been as amazing if we hadn’t played, there is something spectacularly divine that happens when Cortina Whiplash play a gig somewhere, it’s as if their music spreads pure joy. But of course that would be inappropriate and extremely bias.

I figure if every one else is living in a delusion I might as well join in the fun. In my delusion, Cortina Whiplash have the space and funding to only spend their time writing music and becoming better musicians. We also have a pet baby cayman alligator called Snuffy.


What’s it like in your delusion?


Peace in the Middle East

The Lebanese Assassin


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