Cortina Whiplash needs a new drummer

It is with mixed emotion that we start our search for the new Cortina
Whiplash drummer. Sjanine is simply moving in a new, exciting
direction and we wish her only super good things for her future. Of
course we'll miss the crap out of her and anyone wishing to audition
should acknowledge now that they'll have big shoes to fill...

It`s a slow changeover and Miss Diamantes will still be playing quite a few shows with us.

Time: Saturday, July 16 · 11:00am - 2:00pm

Location: Pretoria

The search is on for our new drummer!

Auditions are open to men and women (but we'd be lying if we said we
wouldn't prefer a female candidate).

Audition dates:
16 July, 20 August and 27 August.

If you're serious about auditioning send us an email at
Subject: Audition

No idiots please.

Yours affectionately,
Cortina Whiplash


Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Any more rum and we’ll end up dumb! (and possibly with hairy chests) and let’s face it, who wants to watch an all girl band with hairy chests? Well, me but people seem to think I’m insane, which is fine because “In a country full of Neanderthals, I’ll wear the label like a f*#kin' badge of honor. Oh how I wish I could take credit for that quote!

It’s been a while since I’ve bloggidy blog blogged, I would get into the reasons why but I’m afraid I’d reveal too much about my sordid personal life and that would be inappropriate in a forum like this. All you need to know is that I’m a hard-working musician with a full time career in subsidising my music career.

Speaking of music, I thank the heavens everyday that I met my band mates and that we make the music that we do. The more we go along the more we realise the importance of making music for ourselves without worrying about whether or not it’ll get radio play, or whether it’s pseudo-intellectual enough to convince the pseudo-intellectuals that it’s OK to like it (what is a pseudo-intellectual you ask? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pseudo-intellectual) - basically they’re idiots. We have a knack for unashamedly speaking our minds and being ourselves. We’re a band, we came together by chance and ended up connecting musically, this is hardly the case anymore. We aspire to be unique musicians, to create music that adds some sort of value to the world. Sure, we all have our influences but we aren’t expressly trying to sound like anyone else, the more we play the more we search for and discover our own voice. And until now we’ve somewhat compromised our own voice because we thought we needed to “fit in” we thought we needed to match up to some vague standard of monotone music in order to make a living from what we do. When the reality is, the day you stop searching for your own voice is the day you’re bored and should stop making music.

So what’s changed? I guess the more we gig the more we realise that the people who are going to identify with what we do will do so regardless of how “mainstream” our music sounds. In fact the more we compromise ourselves the more we alienate the people who will truly appreciate what we’re trying to achieve.

Lately I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the amount of generic bands there are on the local scene. These bands aren’t necessarily made up of bad musicians, well some of them are but most of them are tight and well rehearsed, it’s just that the music they play has been played over and over a million times before so that listening to it is like listening to a fridge hum. And the lyrical content, oh the lyrical content, just because it rhymes doesn’t mean you should use it in your song. For godsakes will someone please stand up and say something interesting! I beg you, I implore you, I beseech you!

But for all my bitching there are of course always the exceptions, every once in a while we are fortunate enough to be in the presence of a true artist and it is these moments that make life worth living. To all of you talented, gifted musicians who possess the ability to so eloquently express the things we all wish we could (you know who you are) I thank you with all my heart for existing.

Peace in the Middle East (I’m really starting to think this is jinxing the middle east)

Quickie Tour – It is Your Destiny

For the moment things are quiet enough on the Cortina front for me to write a blog or two about, well about whatever I damn well choose.

But let’s keep it relevant shall we? We’ve just returned from our Quickie Kwa-Zulu Natal tour and boy oh boy was it… random.

At The Winston we had the pleasure of Destiny the stripper on stage with us which seemed to evoke minor outrage in some and quiet pleasure in others (especially the guy who got a free lap dance after our show). This is what we have to say about Destiny:

Let it be known that Destiny wasn’t our idea but when we were told that she’d be joining us on stage (by our fearless sponsor Roxanne) we didn’t put up any resistance because we don’t see anything wrong with a woman doing what she loves doing even if that entails nudity because we also don’t see anything wrong with nudity (public nudity at that), we were all born naked – correct? So if you have a problem with nudity you essentially have a problem with God’s will. I mean really, every time you look down at your own penis/vagina do you cringe in terror? Don’t get me started. Let it also be known that having live strip shows during our performances will not be a standard practice for Cortina Whiplash, we feel that it detracts from our music because, well because in this A.D.D age it’s hard enough to hold an audience captive without having a large-breasted, naked lady gyrating on stage whilst we play. I’m sure you understand. Plus she has more boob than all of us put together and that doesn’t help our cause either. But to Destiny we’d like to say, thanks for jamming with us, you have a real talent - so use the shit out of it. Coincidentally Destiny was the only one who could afford to buy our album on the night.

Durban is fast becoming our favourite place to perform, best crowds and by far the best party. Durban gigs are the stuff legends are made of.

And so on we went to the Smoking Dragon Women’s festival at the Ampitheatre Backpackers nestled just close enough to the Drakensburg Mountains to make it a breathtakingly beautiful setting and yet not close enough to make us feel guilty for not doing any hiking. This festival highlighted female artists only and we got to enjoy the talents of a wide variety of ladies. There were some truly exceptional individuals on display and it’s always refreshing to encounter new artists who are so good at what they do they inspire you to be better. Besides the great music we have to say that the venue and the organisers of the festival did a spectacular job, the sound was great, the vibe was great, this was definitely one of the best festivals we’ve played so far. Regardless of whether we play it again next year I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be back.

And lastly we had the Pink Girlfest in Volksrust. Best view from a stage ever.

Ok bye.