Edition 1.3

The funny thing about ignorance is that when you’re ignorant you don’t know it because you’re ignorant. I love that.

It’s like being tone-deaf, you don’t know you’re tone deaf unless someone tells you but you’d never believe them because maybe the person telling you is just jealous of your talent.

I’ve often wondered how tone deaf people perceive music. If so many people in the world are tone deaf how do they enjoy music and distinguish which types of music they really like? Do tone deaf people hear music the way other people do but have problems when it comes to repeating what they’ve heard? Or do they perceive notes in a totally different range and pitch to the way others do? Fascinating stuff really, I wish I could be in the body of a tone deaf person for a day, perhaps it would explain why so many people are into house music.

As for Cortina Whiplash, I like to think we’re not tone deaf but then again we could all be living in ignorant, tone deaf la la land.

This potential la la land has resulted in an album which is officially in print today; I mean there is literally a machine pumping out copy after copy of “Queen Hyena” as I type this. On top of that, we saw a preview of our first music video yesterday and we are super chuffed with the result, can’t wait to share it with everyone. A big thank you to Rob, Jason, Ashlee, Marina and team for all their effort and to everyone who rocked out for us at the video shoot!

Peace in the Middle East.

The Lebanese Assassin.

For additional randomness and gig updates join our fanpage.

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We’re excited to announce that our album is entirely complete from the artwork to the mastering to the pre-bought bottles of JC le Roux, I mean Crystal, we’re ready to pop open in celebration. The album will be printed in the next 2/3 weeks and then we’re ready to unleash our bastard child onto the world. Don’t expect “Queen Hyena” to be available in Look and Listen anytime soon, we’re doing this indie people, online, at gigs, grassroots sort of stuff. Let’s radically alter the face of the big corporate music industry and ensure that the people who make the most money from their music are the artists who create that music!

As for our debut video, after much debate it was decided that we would do our first video for a track we like to call “Oh for P”. We chose this track because it, well basically because it rocks. The first day of shooting went really well and we’re endlessly thankful to everyone who pulled through and spent the entire day being energetic fans, you all are the most attractive bunch of people we’ve ever seen. We also want to thank Dotsquare for their patience and enthusiasm whilst filming. The 2nd and final day of shooting happens this Tuesday and then on to the editing suites. We’ll be sure to let everyone know when the video debuts on MK and will definitely upload a copy to Youtube, indie people, indie. Don’t expect this video to air on SABC 3 anytime soon …

And remember, always drink bourbon whilst wearing a turban.
-Cortina Whiplash

Pic by Chris Stamatiou



Edition 1.2


Who throws a shoe?”

I miss the early 90’s, back then no one had porcelain veneers on their teeth, people were real man, yellow-stained, jagged truth. Cigarettes were cheap and the Stuyvesant man skied joyfully down a clear white, snowy mountain top.

- hence the yellow-stained teeth I suddenly realize-

Anyway point is,

life was simpler back then or at least the illusion was easier to believe.

More on this later.

Peace in the Middle East.

The Lebanese Assassin.


About Cortina Whiplash

The simple fact is that Cortina Whiplash are not just three hot chicks on stage. They’re awesome performers and natural musicians. They rip through the stage and crowd with abandon, without sacrificing a note, with balls, bad boy energy and sheer style” – Nathan Zeno, Levi’s Original Music Magazine

That said they are also, coincidentally three hot chicks, which begs the question, what could be better than a unique, cutting edge and downright bad-ass rock ‘n roll band? Answer: An all-girl, unique, cutting edge and downright bad-ass rock ‘n roll band

Cortina Whiplash were born out of the revolutionary spirit of Afrikaans girl band Rokkeloos who were often hailed as the “female Fokof” for their outspoken and insightful lyricism and also for the part they played in changing the face of the Afrikaans rock circuit. As motherhood beckoned for one of the Rokkeloos members the remaining three decided to re-form as Cortina Whiplash and branch off into the English market.

A proverbial melting pot of influences, Cortina Whiplash are like a good curry, many different flavors but at the end of the day its all about the chemistry and with a dash of Lebanese, a touch of farm-girl, and a drummer who at 16 learnt to play whilst hitching across the country, these girls definitely have the flavor, as for the chemistry, well that dear reader is all in the tasting.

Picture the monotony of yet another slicked up, emo-haired, boy-youth strumming open chords on his guitar, broken by the sight of a leopard-print clad vixen singing about burying her ex-lover on a desert back-road whilst she straddles her bass nonchalantly between her legs. Somewhere where porn and Broadway musicals meet lies the experience of Cortina Whiplash live, they would’ve been the resident band at Jack Nicholson’s parties back in the day.

Their debut EP entitled ‘Queen Hyena’ references the matriarchal nature of hyenas and was produced by Brendan Jury, who was assisted by Neal Snyman, two of the South African music industry’s most talented minds। Set for release in early 2010 ‘Queen Hyena’ has already garnered a lot of attention and will be one of the defining musical creations of the year.




Edition 1.000

I like to exude a calm, unassuming exterior, I always have but as with most calm, unassuming seeming people there is an eccentric crack-head lurking just below the surface, an alter ego if you will, a persona that needs to find release and this my dear reader is it’s platform.

For instance, whilst writing this introductory edition I was sidetracked by the thought of boobs which led to the Googling of “ascii boobs” which led to this:

Perfect Breasts (o)(o) Fake Silicone Breasts ( + )( + )

High Nipple Breasts (*)(*) Big Nipple Breasts (@)(@)

A Cups oo D Cups { O }{ O }

Wonder Bra Breasts (oYo) Cold Breasts ( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided Breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(Q)

Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)

Flat-Against-The-Shower-Door Breasts ( - )( - )

Android Breasts |o||o| Porn Star Breasts ($)($)

Which in turn led to the realization that there are some extremely creative yet bored people in the world for which I have much respect and gratitude and I suppose in writing this circular I hope to become one of them. In a world where everything is contrived, over-produced or has already been done before what do we really have to offer but a little bit of realism and honesty and the reality is that I’m no-one special, neither are you, neither is Oprah, nor Zuma. Sure so some us drive nice cars, some of us will have to live through genocide, the ultimate truth remains... none of us know why we’re here. We’re like organic chickens living gleeful, free-roaming lives unaware of the inevitable demise that awaits us. Except that we do know what awaits us, therefore I can only surmise that denial must be the key to our survival. Think about it, if we truly acknowledged how short life is would we really have time for things like Hanna Montana or Brangelina or square watermelons, or Christian rock music? Lord knows I’ve tried to rationalize such things but in a world without reason denial is your only friend.

So in the spirit of denial we deny that our music is in any way familiar with the homosexual conduct or drug use of George Michael. We further deny that Marilyn Manson makes poignant observations about society in his music. Further still, we deny that Joost nicknamed his own penis the “NicNac”. So let us embrace all those who deny that they deny and especially those that will be denied entrance into heaven। Amen।

Until next time, Peace in the Middle East.

The Lebanese Assassin.

For additional randomness and gig updates join our fanpage.

Facebook : Cortina Whiplash


टॉप 100 रोचक बांड्स ऑफ़ अल TIME

You can go check out the Top 100 Rock Bands of ALL-TIME
here: http://www.avrev.com/top-100-bands-of-all-time/top-10-rock-bands/index.php

Our Favourites would still be Led Zeppelin,
Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, U2, The Police, The Doors,
Bob Marley and the Wailers,David Bowie,
The Carpenters(just to honor our Drummer),Stone Temple Pilots,
The Rolling Stones, Red Hot Chilli Peppers,
Bon Jovi(NOT),Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine,
Nirvana, Black Sabbath, AC/DC and Fleetwood Mac...to name but a few.

The list is just too long to name them all, aaight ;-)
Go see THE LEGENDS of All Time for yourself.

Who ever said Rock `n Roll is dead...I Don`t think so!




What more could you ask for?
Beautiful surroundings, beautiful music.

Do yourself a favor and come join us.

Check out
www.splashyfen.co.za for info on the killer lineup this year.

Cortina Whiplash will be playing
1 April 2010 ,Thursday evening @ 19:००

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