Sucker for punishment?

Ok so where was I? Oh yes...

- Rock ‘n roll will never die – check
- We won’t write an Afrikaans treffer (unless under a pseudonym or if we’ve already thrown away our self respect) – check
- Music is relative therefore everybody is right and wrong about the Parlotones - check
- We’re awesome so our musical preference is always right – check
- Only if you like our music does your opinion matter – check
- If a wood chuck could chuck wood how much wood would a wood chuck chuck? – undecided

Lately I’ve been thinking that power trips are cool but only if you have some sort of power - which I don’t. So if I had to start power tripping, without wielding any sort of obvious power, what does that make me?

Conclusion: About 90% of the population - a delusional, self-involved butthead who likes hearing them self speak.

And what happens when you give someone like that access to social media and blogging?

That’s right, the Cortina Whiplash blog!

So deal with it.


-Your resident delusional butthead

And now: Saudis in Audis



Lately it’s been an international and local trend to proclaim the death of rock ‘n roll. So as one of SA’s most passionate and dedicated rock ‘n roll acts we thought we should throw our two cents into the mix.

In a nutshell the linked article states that the reason for this proclamation is based mainly on the number of rock acts in the international singles charts, simply put there aren’t any, Florence and the Machine being noted as one of only three “rock” acts in the top 100 selling UK singles acts (I like FATM but don’t know when she became rock ‘n roll). Album sales are down and the quick-fire Idols winners, Justin Biebers, Susan Boyles of the world are being favoured by record labels because of the short-term investment needed to lay a well-produced and packaged single onto the world. It’s a sure fire profit as opposed to investing in the growth and longevity of a rock ‘n roll band.

It’s a fact that the mainstream music industry is fueled by money and if a shaved monkey with a gap tooth could hold a mic and sing, a record label would invest in it and it would probably make more money than Lady Gaga (or is that how they found Lady Gaga *eerie music*). The point is who gives a shit? Do these sorts of acts do anything to change your life besides adding more pomp and little substance to an already over-saturated world? Actually I take that back, I suppose I do give a shit, knowing that a shaved monkey probably would be favoured over all the uber talented and hardworking musicians in this world.

People who believe that the UK single chart is a good barometer for the quality and success of rock ‘n roll music “wouldn’t know good music if it came up and bit them in the ass” – Frank Zappa

But that’s neither here nor there. I think it’s important for us to first establish what rock ‘n roll means. Rock ‘n roll is a hard thing to quantify. To me rock ‘n roll is anything counter culture, but that said, being counter culture is, in a way, buying into a trend just like wear Crocs is buying into a trend. So I guess it’s about your intent, are you buying the Crocs because everyone else is or because they’re comfortable? Rock ‘n roll is about listening to your heart and pursuing the things you’re passionate about, it’s about not giving in to societal pressure to be something you’re not or to do something just because it’s expected of you. To us as Cortina Whiplash, rock ‘n roll is a way of life, it’s an expression of our passion, our emotions and our love of music, it’s about being true to yourself, thinking for yourself and not being motivated by selfishness or arrogance, Jesus was rock ‘n roll, so was Bob Marley, so was Gandhi, so was Nelson Mandela, so was Yoda, they all stuck to their guns, they all made a difference. (Imagine if Gandhi had worked in insurance?) Rock ‘n roll is about us holding onto the belief that one day we will live in a world that values things such as humility over celebrity, kindness over selfish gain, respect for the environment over the size of your car, and music is our platform to voice this message.

So the state of rock ‘n roll is not exactly about how many rock artists are present on the UK single chart, it’s about way more than that - if we loose rock ‘n roll we loose it all.

Or maybe rock ‘n roll is just about loud guitars and smoke machines. But it certainly isn’t about how many rock artists are on the UK single chart.

So come rock out with us at one of our shows or buy the gap-toothed monkey’s album.

Your choice.


article link: http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/music/long-live-rock-n-roll



...say it like it is

Finally I get to impose my thoughts on those of you fantastic enough to read this.

Lately I’ve been thinking that all the thinking in the world can’t make an alternative band like us more mainstream and so we’ve decided… F*%& MAINSTREAM! Even if that means we’ll be poor and homeless for eternity, yup we will never write a “Kaptein”, so all you “profs” out there can stop telling us that all we need to do to be successful is to write an Afrikaans treffer and dolly ourselves up blah blah blah, (we do such things under a clever pseudonym anyway). Cortina Whiplash are 3 (sometimes 4) girls who’ve been making music together out of their combined necessity for some sort of emotional outlet, music is our therapy and its value way exceeds the value of having thousands of ignoramuses buy our album.

Sure we gig and we try to sell our album, let’s be realistic here, we can’t make music our living if we don’t make a living from it and we constantly walk the fine line between completely selling out on the one hand and maintaining our integrity and original passion for music on the other. Sadly music is the one career choice where you constantly find yourself justifying why you should be paid for what you do. Does anyone ever question an electrician’s fees? Or feel that they have the right to tell a doctor how he/she should do their job?

Let’s set the record straight:

  • We have the ability to write catchy, toned-down, radio friendly tunes yet we choose not to. I know this is hard for a lot of people to understand but that’s how it is.
  • Many musicians before us have cracked the mainstream industry doing their own thing and hey if it that happens with Cortina then we’ll invite everyone over for a jacuzzi party – integrity in tact (until after the party) and if it doesn’t happen well then we’ll make music on our stoop for the rest of our daysintegrity in tact.
  • We appreciate all the advice but respectfully ask that if you feel like you know the key to cracking the music industry – start a band of your own. Alternatively give us money instead of advice, it would help more.
  • We want people to evolve as listeners and hope that one day mainstream music will be determined by its quality rather than its flashy image.

Maybe we’re the idiots for having some sort of message or purpose behind what we do, every time some guy shouts “play some Kurt Darren” from the audience we communally vomit in our mouths and wonder “what’s the point?”, but at this juncture I can’t imagine putting any more thoughtless, empty, meaningless music out there for the sake of making money. Surely we’re not the only ones who feel like the world needs a little more substance?