Cortina Whiplash

3/9/10

About Cortina Whiplash

“The simple fact is that Cortina Whiplash are not just three hot chicks on stage. They’re awesome performers and natural musicians. They rip through the stage and crowd with abandon, without sacrificing a note, with balls, bad boy energy and sheer style” – Nathan Zeno, Levi’s Original Music Magazine

That said they are also, coincidentally three hot chicks, which begs the question, what could be better than a unique, cutting edge and downright bad-ass rock ‘n roll band? Answer: An all-girl, unique, cutting edge and downright bad-ass rock ‘n roll band

Cortina Whiplash were born out of the revolutionary spirit of Afrikaans girl band Rokkeloos who were often hailed as the “female Fokof” for their outspoken and insightful lyricism and also for the part they played in changing the face of the Afrikaans rock circuit. As motherhood beckoned for one of the Rokkeloos members the remaining three decided to re-form as Cortina Whiplash and branch off into the English market.

A proverbial melting pot of influences, Cortina Whiplash are like a good curry, many different flavors but at the end of the day its all about the chemistry and with a dash of Lebanese, a touch of farm-girl, and a drummer who at 16 learnt to play whilst hitching across the country, these girls definitely have the flavor, as for the chemistry, well that dear reader is all in the tasting.

Picture the monotony of yet another slicked up, emo-haired, boy-youth strumming open chords on his guitar, broken by the sight of a leopard-print clad vixen singing about burying her ex-lover on a desert back-road whilst she straddles her bass nonchalantly between her legs. Somewhere where porn and Broadway musicals meet lies the experience of Cortina Whiplash live, they would’ve been the resident band at Jack Nicholson’s parties back in the day.

Their debut EP entitled ‘Queen Hyena’ references the matriarchal nature of hyenas and was produced by Brendan Jury, who was assisted by Neal Snyman, two of the South African music industry’s most talented minds। Set for release in early 2010 ‘Queen Hyena’ has already garnered a lot of attention and will be one of the defining musical creations of the year.

3/8/10

…:::CORTINA WHIPLASH PRESENTS::::…

THE RANDOM MUSINGS OF A LEBANESE HALFBREED

Edition 1.000

I like to exude a calm, unassuming exterior, I always have but as with most calm, unassuming seeming people there is an eccentric crack-head lurking just below the surface, an alter ego if you will, a persona that needs to find release and this my dear reader is it’s platform.

For instance, whilst writing this introductory edition I was sidetracked by the thought of boobs which led to the Googling of “ascii boobs” which led to this:

Perfect Breasts (o)(o) Fake Silicone Breasts ( + )( + )

High Nipple Breasts (*)(*) Big Nipple Breasts (@)(@)

A Cups oo D Cups { O }{ O }

Wonder Bra Breasts (oYo) Cold Breasts ( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided Breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(Q)

Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)

Flat-Against-The-Shower-Door Breasts ( - )( - )

Android Breasts |o||o| Porn Star Breasts ($)($)

Which in turn led to the realization that there are some extremely creative yet bored people in the world for which I have much respect and gratitude and I suppose in writing this circular I hope to become one of them. In a world where everything is contrived, over-produced or has already been done before what do we really have to offer but a little bit of realism and honesty and the reality is that I’m no-one special, neither are you, neither is Oprah, nor Zuma. Sure so some us drive nice cars, some of us will have to live through genocide, the ultimate truth remains... none of us know why we’re here. We’re like organic chickens living gleeful, free-roaming lives unaware of the inevitable demise that awaits us. Except that we do know what awaits us, therefore I can only surmise that denial must be the key to our survival. Think about it, if we truly acknowledged how short life is would we really have time for things like Hanna Montana or Brangelina or square watermelons, or Christian rock music? Lord knows I’ve tried to rationalize such things but in a world without reason denial is your only friend.

So in the spirit of denial we deny that our music is in any way familiar with the homosexual conduct or drug use of George Michael. We further deny that Marilyn Manson makes poignant observations about society in his music. Further still, we deny that Joost nicknamed his own penis the “NicNac”. So let us embrace all those who deny that they deny and especially those that will be denied entrance into heaven। Amen।

Until next time, Peace in the Middle East.

The Lebanese Assassin.

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3/5/10

टॉप 100 रोचक बांड्स ऑफ़ अल TIME

You can go check out the Top 100 Rock Bands of ALL-TIME
here: http://www.avrev.com/top-100-bands-of-all-time/top-10-rock-bands/index.php

Our Favourites would still be Led Zeppelin,
Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, U2, The Police, The Doors,
Bob Marley and the Wailers,David Bowie,
The Carpenters(just to honor our Drummer),Stone Temple Pilots,
The Rolling Stones, Red Hot Chilli Peppers,
Bon Jovi(NOT),Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine,
Nirvana, Black Sabbath, AC/DC and Fleetwood Mac...to name but a few.

The list is just too long to name them all, aaight ;-)
Go see THE LEGENDS of All Time for yourself.

Who ever said Rock `n Roll is dead...I Don`t think so!

3/4/10

NICE...

3/3/10

CORTINA WHIPLASH'S DEBUT AT SPLASHY FEN

What more could you ask for?
Beautiful surroundings, beautiful music.
Do yourself a favor and come join us.

Check out www.splashyfen.co.za for info on the killer lineup this year.